Tell It To My Heart

I have the honor to play some type of “Mother Role” for 6 beautiful kids, though only 2 of them entered the world through me. The other 4 consider me to be a kind of “Bonus Mom” but it is the same in my eyes. I would give everything I have for any of them. They each have a piece of my heart and a connection to my soul.

I have had the most memorable Mother’s Day of my 15 years in the role. I had a disagreement with my youngest son 2 days prior, so I knew he would not be around. He lives with his Dad but was going to come for Mother’s Day out of obligation. Telling my son, “I love you but I am not willing to be hurt by you any longer. I love myself enough to say this is not ok. I don’t want you to be with me because you feel like you have to be. I want you to be here because you want to be,” was the hardest conversation I have ever had as a Mom. When he responded with, “I don’t care” and walked out the door, my heart was crushed.

Of course I was upset and was in a full-force pity party over that, but I was expecting the other 5 kids. As you can imagine, I was on an emotional roller coaster. I wanted to be happy but my heart was hurting. It is so hard to be happy when you have been hurt and I didn’t want the other kids to think that they weren’t just as important. I decided that the only way to get through the weekend was to throw myself into giving.

The weekend was wonderful! I got to surprise Cindy (she didn’t know her kids were coming) and I also got to spend it with my best friends; laughing, playing and having a great time. There was still a hole though. In the few quiet moments I was searching for a way to mend my broken heart.

As the weekend came to a close and Cindy left to take her kids home, it gave me the rare opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with my eldest, my daughter. We didn’t have the wonderful heart-to-heart conversations that I thought we would and I felt the hole that was left in my son’s absence begin to swallow me. We watched a couple of movies and enjoyed just being there together. It wasn’t until she had said her goodnights and gone to bed that she blew me away. I decided to look at Facebook before nodding off and this is what I read:

“All day today, I have been thinking about what I’m going to tell the world about my mums on Mother’s Day. I kept thinking in my head “the perfect words…the perfect words…” But the truth is, there are no perfect words because there are no perfect people. But I can sure give it the best shot I’ve got!

To Lizabeth,
Honestly, I can’t even put into words how amazing you are. Amazing is an understatement. You are inspiring! No… Still an understatement… Your wisdom is phenomenal! Nope… Still not there yet… Hmmm… To tell you the truth, there isn’t one word that can be characterized into you. You are too many words put into one beautiful soul that it would be physically and mentally impossible to list or much less think about them all. And if you don’t know it by now, I don’t think you ever will. If you listen to the bridge of the song “No Words” by The Script, it will explain my predicament.

You have helped me through so many things, it is unbelieveable. And no one can ever thank a mother enough for all of the hard work, dedication, and (most importantly) love that she gives. There isn’t enough time in one lifetime to tell a mother the impact they have on a child. And there definately isn’t enough to tell you how much you mean to me. But I hope you learn that over the years, you will always be my best friend no matter what. Thank you for EVERYTHING you do and I love you!

To Cindy,
Oh dear lord Jesus up in Heaven. Where to being with you… Hmmm. Well, for starters, as “stepmothers” come, you are definitely one of the best. In my book, you aren’t a stepmother at all. You are just another mom. And I couldn’t have asked for a better person to come into my life to make our trio another family than you. Not only that, you brought some amazing people along with you including Mallory, Matthew, Mason, Pat, Carolyn, Philicity, and Carol. And so many other fabulous people! Just the fact that you have chosen to be my mom is reward enough. Thank you for being a part of my life! I love you!

Now for all the other mothers out there, dear lord gracious. The amount of labor you go through daily baffles me. I honestly don’t know how you do it. But I will learn one day and I will look to you all for wisdom (no pressure!) But I do want you to know that no matter what your background is or what your current situation is, you will always be held accountable for creating a beautiful human being. And I thank every mother there is because without you, I wouldn’t have the amazing people in my life today and I wouldn’t even be here! So thank you again for all that you do and please don’t stop doing it the way you are! Happy Mother’s Day!”

After reading her words, I realized that she had given me the best gift that anyone can hope to receive: she shared with me directly from her heart. She shared with me from the core of her. She took the time to think about what she wanted to say and she chose the way that was most comfortable for her to give me the gift. She gave me her Truth. Wow. What a phenomenal gift.

I also realized that my son did the same thing. Even though what he said in the moment wasn’t received as a gift, it was. He gave me his Truth, his heart. He felt safe enough not to sugar-coat his feelings too.

I received little gifts from my kids this Mother’s Day but they gave me the biggest gift of all, the Truth. All 6 of my kids shared openly with me in a way that was real and honest. They all were who they are and THAT is the best gift this Mom can hope for. They found a way to tell it to my heart instead of my ego. Thank you guys. This was the Best Mother’s Day ever!


  1. Stephanie Scott says

    CONGRATS on your wonderful Mother’s Day ! Love the term “Bonus Mom”.

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