The Question that Changed my Life

I believe that I create my own reality by the vibrations and focus I hold most often.

I also believe that when I am not getting what I want, it’s because I have a vibration or focus that is in opposition to what I want. Somehow I am blocking what I want. I am the only one to blame for the delay.

If something is not working in my life, I can choose to focus on the problem or the solution. When I focus on the problem, more problems seem to come my way. When I focus on the solution, a solution usually makes itself known.

I am learning that so much of what happens to me and around me is because of the beliefs I hold. Many of those beliefs I hold, I don’t even realize exist within me. They are so engrained that I don’t know they exist. Until something, or someone, points them out.

I have found that ALL my problems begin and end with me. When a problem arises, it’s an indication of how I’ve been feeling. The solution also exists within me.

If I am the cause of my problems through my dominant feelings, then I can be the cause of my solutions through my dominant feelings. All problems should cause me to ask, “What do I need to change about me?”

Somehow, that’s not the first question that comes up though. My first question is often, “WHY me??” Or my first thought is usually not about me at all. It’s, “How dare they do that to me!” Or, “How can they be so uncaring and/or stupid?” I’m always looking to blame someone else for MY problems.

I recently learned that a close family member is probably withholding money from me. It is inheritance money and the family member and I both know the wishes of the deceased. However, the family member has found a loop hole and has decided to keep the money.

My first reaction was one of anger and frustration. I think most of us would have the same reaction. But, in the moment, I was thankful for the things I’ve learned about how to direct my focus. I allowed myself my usual 5 minutes to be angry. I allowed myself the time to grieve what I had lost, be angry with this family member, and to call them every name in the book. My journal took a beating for them.

Then I remembered who I am. I remembered that I am the heir to THE King and I can have, be and do anything I want. The money they are withholding from me is nothing but a drop in the bucket compared to the things I have in my future – or as Abraham-Hicks calls it – my vibrational escrow or vortex.

I love this person. But, the relationship is toxic for me and I let it go a long time ago which was one of the best things I’ve ever done. I have no regrets.

I also realize that since they are holding on so tight to this money, it is most likely the only money they will ever have. And I’m playing much, much bigger than that.

I wish them well. I wish them much success, love, happiness and prosperity.

What I’m most excited about though is that I am in a place to just let this roll off my back after only 5 minutes! That’s real progress for me! It’s not always been that way.

As I analyzed why it may have been so easy for me now, I realized the one question that has trained me to think the way I do. The one question that is asked of me on a VERY regular basis: “What’s working for you?”

Lizabeth asks me that question almost daily. We trained ourselves to ask this question early in our relationship. Every Sunday, our dream days, we would seriously consider what’s working and what’s not.

Since we had both been in toxic relationships before, we find it very important to check in often to catch any problems before they get too big. This practice has been invaluable to our relationship. It’s allowed us to discuss things that might otherwise go unnoticed, get stuffed, or worse yet, get totally ignored.

I’ve found that when I’m asked, “What’s working for you”, it really makes me stop and take a look at my life. It makes me question what I really like about my life. And what I don’t.

It makes it easier for me to say, “This is going on and it’s not working for me, and this is why”. I don’t feel as though I have to bring up something out of the blue AFTER I’ve had enough of it. It also helps me focus on the solution rather than the problem.

For instance, my office used to be in the living room. It had to be there because our house was small and we had children still at home. During one of our, “What’s working, what’s not” sessions, I said that all the interruptions throughout my day were not working for me. I didn’t have to reach my limit, blow up and tell everyone to get out or be quiet. I didn’t have to reach my limit and throw everyone out of the living room. I just had to realize that, for me, the interruptions were not working.

It wasn’t about what everyone else was doing. It was about me. And what was not working FOR ME. It wasn’t judging everyone else’s behaviors. The focus was on what I needed, not what everyone else was doing that irritated me.

It gave us a chance to discuss calmly how to solve the problem. It gave me a safe place to define the problem and then brainstorm ways we could change things. It also got me a really cool tie dyed room divider that became a pretty good conversational piece. We solved the problem before it even really became a problem.

Asking the question from the positive of, “What’s working for you?” also allows us to focus on the positive a whole lot more than we focus on the negative. I’ve found that by asking that question often, we tend to appreciate more of what’s going on around us. We have more gratitude around the things that we truly enjoy which brings even more of those things into our lives.

If we had not been asking this question of each other regularly, I don’t know if I would have been so trained to look for the solution in this inheritance situation I now face. Living in that question helped me to see that this family member does not have the power to withhold my good. This family member can not steal from me, because I don’t steal from others. This family member would not be able to keep this money if God intended it for me.

My good is already on it’s way. God is my source, not this deceased family member. God is my source, not the family member who now holds the money. Much, much bigger things are in store for me because I now play on a much bigger scale. Money is energy, which is in unlimited supply. My money comes from within. My money comes from God.

I bless this money and let it go. I bless this family member and let him go. May he be forever blessed.

If you don’t have someone to ask you on a regular basis, “What’s working for you?”, I highly suggest you find someone. Or ask yourself. Really look within and ask yourself, “What’s working for me?” It just might change your life.

Photo credit: m-c via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
Photo credit: byzantiumbooks via Foter.com / CC BY

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