Here We Go Again…

I’ve had it!

I’ve, once again, reached that point where, “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

I’m frustrated with myself for gaining back the weight I released about five years ago.

Lizabeth shared her feelings in an earlier post and I wanted to share mine before we start this next chapter in our health journey. My hope is that by sharing our journey it will help others. But, more importantly, I think it will help to hold us more accountable.

I am thankful that we are doing this together so that we can hold each other accountable, but, as we’ve found out, that’s not always enough.

So… here goes. Here’s how I’m feeling with only a couple of days left before we start drastically changing our diet and eating habits. Our one goal is to get rid of the excess weight.

(Note: We aren’t really interested in people giving their opinions about what plan we should do – we already have a plan that we are committed to doing over the next several months. It’s the same plan I was on before when I lost the 40 pounds. We ARE interested, however, in your love, support and encouragement to hold us accountable.)

I’m frustrated that no matter what I try doesn’t seem to help.

I’m frustrated that the harder I try, the more I seem to gain.

I’m frustrated that I don’t have enough self-control to just eat less, or to eat the right things, or to not eat the wrong things…

I’m frustrated that I don’t even know anymore which are the right things and which are the wrong.

I’m frustrated that even though I don’t feel that my life revolves around food and I could usually take it or leave it, I still seem to gain weight.

I’m frustrated that I’ve changed my mind around food what seems like a thousand times and no matter what I do, I can’t find that magic lifestyle that helps me maintain my weight.

But…

I’m also excited!

I’m excited that we have decided to take charge of our lives again.

I’m excited that we have a plan.

I’m excited that we have a coach.

I’m excited that we believe in ourselves enough to KNOW that this will work.

I’m excited that we are committed to making this our reality.

I’m excited that we are doing this together and can hold each other up through the hard times and can celebrate each other’s victories, no matter how small.

I’m excited to feel the weight melt away as I did before.

I’m excited to move into smaller clothes.

I’m excited to feel better about myself when my clothes fit better.

I’m excited to be able to tie my shoes again without getting out of breath.

I’m excited to have more energy.

I’m excited to feel better emotionally about myself and my progress.

I’m excited to match my outside to my inside.

When I think about the frustration in contrast with the excitement and acknowledge that I have both feelings (and just for the record, I don’t like to admit that I have feelings of any kind… so that’s already progress), I also realize that I get to choose which of those feelings I will live in.

I can focus on the frustration, or I can focus on the excitement. I like how excitement feels better than I like how frustration feels. So, I am letting the frustration go. I’ve acknowledged that I had it. Now, I can just let it go. It won’t serve me.

Excitement serves me. Focusing on the excitement builds more excitement. I think my results the first week will be more successful going into this with excitement than they will be if I head in with frustration.

I am where I am. It’s frustrating. But, it’s not the end of the world. And I don’t have to live here. I choose to get excited about the challenges and changes that are ahead in my future. I am responsible for me. For my choices. For my responses. For my reactions. For my feelings.

Best of all, I get to chose which ones I will live in. I choose excitement. I can do this! We can do this!

And to the part of me who will be disappearing soon, THANK YOU! Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for the ways you’ve served me until now. It’s time to heal your hurts and let you go!

I love me! I love us!

Speak Your Mind

*