Giving Myself Permission

I can't do that!

I can’t do that!

I was listening to Edwene Gaines on the radio yesterday.  I heard her say that when she finally gave herself permission to do what she really wanted to do, which was lay at the beach, she got really bored after a couple of days.  I’m paraphrasing because I don’t remember her exact words.  The part that stuck in my mind was “When I finally gave myself permission…”

I’ve been thinking of ‘giving myself permission’ every since.  What do I need to give myself permission to do, be or have?  What HAVE I given myself permission to do, be or have?  Have I REALLY given myself permission or do I just pretend that I have?

I like to think I’ve given myself permission to do whatever I want to do, but how many times each day do I tell myself I ‘should’ do something.  How many times do I let the little voices in my head – the programs I’ve developed in my brain – the habits I’ve created – control my thoughts and actions?  How many little things do I do without even thinking about whether I really want to do them or whether they serve me?

How many things do I do out of obligation?  Should I really do them or do I do them just because I’ve always done them?  Do I do them because they are things that actually serve me, or do I do them because I believe it would be wrong not to do them?  Or do I hold myself back from doing things I would love to do because I’m afraid of what someone might think?

And who am I to give myself permission to do anything?  Isn’t there always someone else in charge of my life?  If no one else, isn’t God there to always tell me what to do and how to do it?  That’s the program I’ve had stuck in my head.  Someone else is always in charge of my life; someone else to tell me what I should do, how I should do it, and even when I should do it.

Today, I change.  I am in charge of my life.  I am responsible for my life.  No one else decides how my life will turn out except me.  I get to decide what I do, when I do it, and how I do it.

Actually, it’s been that way all along.  I’ve always had the choice.  I just didn’t believe I did.  And by not believing in myself – not believing that I was in charge – I was giving my power away to whoever I was convinced was in charge, whether they convinced me of that or I convinced myself of that.

When I really, really get that God is in me, I am in Him, and that we are one, shouldn’t I trust myself more?  Shouldn’t I KNOW that I have the power inside me to make the best decisions?  Shouldn’t I trust that I CAN do anything I WANT to do?   When I really get, at the soul, gut level, the power that I really have within me, I will give myself permission to trust that Guidance.  When I understand that the desires of my heart were placed there by God I will not feel so guilty for having those desires.  God created me just the way I am. And for a reason.  I have a purpose and when I deny those desires, I may be missing out on my purpose.

What if I’m missing out on something I am supposed to be, have or do simply because I won’t give myself permission to be, have or do it?  Here’s the paradox:  By not giving myself permission to be, have or do what I want, that still puts me in control.  So, no matter how hard I try to not have control and give someone else the blame for how things turn out, good or bad, I’m still in control and have to take the blame myself.

So, no matter how I look at it, I am in control of my life.  I am in charge.  Even when I think I’m not.  I decide who gets control and by giving my control to someone else, that’s still me being in control of who has the control.

Today, I’m giving myself permission to give myself permission. I am the only one who can do that.  Because I am in charge of my life whether I want to be or not.  So, if I’m in charge, it’s going to be a good life.  I’m going to go for it!

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  1. “I really want to have.  I think it’s time to finally get rid of that silly programming.  Following yesterday’s post about giving myself permission, today, I give myself permission to let go of those old stinkin’ thoughts and beliefs.  They…”

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